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Emo by your standards. Heartfelt by mine. But the explanation of the title is as simple as lack of connectivity to the speaker's emotions. It's not too difficult to understand, is it? A girl gives her boyfriend a CD with 100 of his favorite love songs and the guy will go all gaga over her gift. But when he tells his friends about it, they will bray "Cheeeeeesy" in unison. Nobody's wrong but nobody's correct either.
The above ramblings are to convey only one tragic occurrence that befell on me about 4 days ago- the one of my hard-disk crashing, taking with it almost 20 GB of my stuff. Songs and movies, I care a shit about but what went along with it was all my work since past two years, some of which I didn't have back up of. And poof went Riya, a story I had been working on since more than past 6 months. All 45 pages of it containing some of my self professedly longest, darkest and best work. And when I say 'some of which I didn't have back up of,' I mean Riya.
Needless to say, I was chided, quite unnecessarily so, by many. I mean come on, do I need to hear how much of a moron I was not to back it up when I am already breaking to pieces inside? Besides, who could've foreseen it? How frequently does this happen that one day your PC works just fine and other *tada* it's...it's gone.
Yeah, that was admittedly a hard hard night for me. It was at this time I discovered the real healing power of music. Dido almost spoke to me when she said, "
Please don't mourn forever
She's not coming back
And yes they'll ask you where you've been
And you'll have to tell them again and again
And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day
Well I promise you you'll see the sun again "
It told me that readers will ask you where you been since all 6 months, many being skeptical when I say my work disappeared, some discouraging and mostly plain harsh. But one day, with my next post, will be my day in the sun.
Yeah, right now, I am cheesy by choice. Because sometimes you need it.
I owe an apology to whoever who cares. I admit, I fucked up and then some more. Then came fate in all its glory and screwed me over completing the cycle of me being done in and out.
Riya's not coming back. When I took this fact head on, I was plunged into the deepest of the miseries, understandably so. But that instant I was reminded of two greats- Gregory David Roberts and one of my idols Stephen King. Roberts wrote Shantaram thrice over, the previous two being trashed for no fault of his own and it emerged as a cult novel. King's latest Under the Dome came after him working on it since almost 25 years. Both are humans. And humans are capable of perseverance and resilience.
So when I say Riya's not coming back, I mean she's not coming back anytime soon. I can't let my hours of research, days of pondering and inexplicable magnitude of emotions that rode on Riya go waste. So I will be doing it. Again. All of it. And better, much better. Someday this blog will flash with the title Riya.
And that is my promise to you.
10 comments:
When you said 'emo post coming up soon' the other day I thought you were kidding.Dammit I completely forgot that when your HD crashes you lose EVERYTHING. :(
Trust me it has happened to me too multiple times...when my pc got virus-infested.I lost all my media files plus a few of my poems and creations.And I know it hurts a lot.
But when you say you have to show resilience and perseverance you are quite right.Don't give up.Write a much much better version of Riya.
We'll look forward to reading it :)
SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH of melodrama :|
I feel sorry for Riya!
You are OMKAR(daone)
hit back with a bang
@Samadrita: Thanks for your support. Appreciate it :)
@Shreya: Cheesy by choice, didn't I say? Don't expect you to understand. But then I would've said the same thing if I were you. Only an aap-beeti can make you realize the loss.
@Carefreesoul: Hehe. Sure re. And guess what, I'm back with a new one!
Heartbroken to hear that... its k omi!!!
I guess you're destined to write a much better story... Meanwhile I'll continue to wait, very eagerly, for Riya :)
well im sorry for ur loss..
but being me i wuld hav said-you wrote it once,u sure as hell can do it again,but since u already know that.
all i can say is..Im going to be waiting for Riya!
[and it bettr be good,or imma kick ur big butt]
p.s-last line was just added cos i thought id been to sweet before and didnt want you to get too used to it.I got a reputation to keep you know.
@Kitty: Thanks dear. Appreciate all your support.
@Sanjana: I've never stretched my words on my blogs but I am forced to make an exception for you- Yeeeeeeah... "Reputation"... And you say that on myyyyy blog... Riiiiiiightt!
says her favorite *golden word*
think a lil..u'll know what it is.
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